Do you know the difference between a contract
and a covenant?
According
to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
Contract (noun\
con·tract
\ˈkän-ˌtrakt\): an agreement between two or more parties.
Covenant (noun\
cov·e·nant
\ˈkə-və-nənt\): a formal, solemn, and binding agreement,
usually
under seal, between two or more parties.
What is the difference between a
contractual marriage and a covenant marriage?
Contractual Marriage
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This summer, our oldest son is a
salesman for a nationwide satellite TV company. This company strives to offer
services that are cheaper, more flexible, and more reliable than their
competitors. One of their sales tactics is to “buy out” the customer’s current
satellite contract, thus releasing them from that agreement so that they are then
free to sign up for the better contract. In a similar way, many
people today view marriage as simply a contract that they can get out of should
something better come along. In a talk given by Bruce C. Hafen in 1996 he
stated “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They
marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what
they bargained for.” In the article, Marriage: Covenant or Contract?, Gary
Chapman identifies 3 other characteristics of a contract marriage: they are for
a limited period of time, they are based on an “if…..then” mentality, and they
are motivated by the desire to get something.
Covenant
Marriage
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A covenant marriage is one
in which both spouses view the marriage as a permanent commitment. In the
article mentioned above, Gary Chapman shares some characteristics of a covenant
marriage: they are based on steadfast love, they require forgiveness and unconditional
promises, and they focus more on meeting the spouse’s needs than meeting your
own. To take it a step further, in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints we are taught that a covenant marriage is literally a covenant made
between a man, a woman, and God. In holy temples a couple can be married by
priesthood authority for time AND all eternity. Wow, talk about a long-term
commitment! A husband and wife promise - not just each other, but God - that
they will honor their marital vows with complete fidelity, strive to keep God’s
commandments, and be each other’s helpmeet and partner. As for me, this is the
kind of marriage that I want.
Choosing a Covenant Marriage
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| http://www.theideadoor.com |
As a little girl I
remember dreaming about my future marriage. I envisioned being swept off my
feet by a dreamy young man and living happily ever after. Eventually I was
swept off my feet by the man of my dreams, but after the wedding ceremony it
wasn’t exactly “happily ever after”. There were differences of opinions, there
were difficulties in merging our two lives into one, there was school and debt,
and eventually there were children who, along with the greatest joy we had ever
known, also brought into our home a whole new set of challenges and stresses.
But, the glue that held us together then, and continues to hold us together
today, is our binding commitment to each other and to God. Almost 25 years ago,
we chose a covenant marriage. We continue to make that choice daily as we work
to overcome our shortcomings, strive to put each other first, forgive each
other, and keep the promises we made in the temple. We rely on God’s help to
strengthen our marriage. Together we learn about Jesus Christ and try to become
more like him. We keep an eternal perspective in mind so that when difficulties
in our relationship come we choose to work through them rather than give up. It’s
not easy, but when I think that my goal is to be with my husband and children
for all eternity, I know that it is worth it!
Sources:
-Chapman, Gary. Marriage:
Covenant or Contract? Retrieved from: http://www.lifeway.com/Article/HomeLife-Marriage-Covenant-or-Contract
-Hafen, Bruce C. Covenant
Marriage. Retrieved from: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/covenant-marriage?lang=eng
-Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Retrieved from: https://www.merriam-webster.com/
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